April 16, 2014

The Story Of My Life: A Guest Post By Jimmie (Jimmie Has A Problem, Part II)

Martie Hair, Makeup and Beauty Covering Facial Redness, Facial Redness, Makeup 8 Comments

The Story of My Life – Jimmie’s Recommendation for Red Skin

“Oh, your blush is perfectly applied.  How do you do that every time?” says everyone.

“I’m not wearing any blush.  I never wear any blush,” says Jimmie.

“Why is your face so red?  Don’t you know to wear sunscreen?” says everyone.

“I always wear sunscreen.  My face always looks like this,” says Jimmie.

“I am so pink! I don’t want to be pink!  I want alabaster skin!” says Jimmie.

“You are being ridiculous.  You are not that pink,” says Martie.

Evidence:

This is what I look like every day, right before I put my make up on. 

 

And this is what I look like every day, right after I put my make up on.

Alabaster skin is in.  Ruddy German cheeks are not.

I’ve called Martie so many times to lament over these pink cheeks of mine.  I also lament over my pink chin and my pink forehead and my pink nose.  Martie, who has lovely olive-y skin, has looked at me with helplessness and eye-rolling.  Probably there is nothing really wrong with my skin but probably I don’t care and I just want the pink to go away.

Martie did some research for me, and I’m ever so thankful.  What I tried first was a mixture of aloe goo and cucumber slices.  Both of those things cool your skin and in theory, that is what I need.  What I’ve found, though, is that both of those things leave your skin slightly sticky and still pink.  I’ll need more time to see if using them as de-redinators are effective, but if I had to say today, I’d say they are not.

I’ve also tried the Clinique yellow powder.  I’ve used that for years, spending ridiculous amounts of money on it, and you know, it never really does much for my skin.  I’m still pink.  I think I got carried away in the hopefulness of it.  It’s Clinique, after all, and Clinique is supposed to be the bomb diggity.

My latest endeavor to rid myself of piggy pink features is purchasing and slathering on the Physician’s Formula face goo.  Wait, here’s a photo.

Martie and I went to Wal-Mart one night to sniff this stuff out [Jimmie made me go to Wal-Mart!].  We stood in the makeup aisle for far longer than we should have, comparing the colors and the formulas.  I settled on this one and triumphantly took it to her house.  I washed my face, and then while standing approximately 2.5 inches away from her mirror, I layered on the foundation.  It was . . . . thick.  Slightly sticky.  But the thing is, it covered my pink.

Once I properly applied the foundation, I stole one of Martie’s powder brushes and liberally applied the powder to my face.  I’ll note here that liberally applying the powder is not the way to go.  Lightly dust it, lest you look like chalk.

Next I perched prettily on Martie’s bed and waited for her to notice my new face.  She walked in to her room, looked at me, and said, “You need blush.  You have no color.”  I HAD NO COLOR! [Seriously guys, no color.] Those were the words I have been waiting for my whole life (unless you are referring to my pasty while legs)!  Martie then showed me how to properly apply blush, something I have never done in all my years.

My assessment of Physician’s Formula is this: it works.  You will need to blot your nose on occasion if you are oily, and when you touch your face you will feel the make up on your fingers, but your face will not feel heavy or makeup-y at all.  This is a product that I Highly Recommend, even over the Clinique yellow powder which convinces you with its hefty price tag and prestigious logo that is it worth purchasing.  It is not. [Angel recommended it to me, and Jimmie got a recommendation, too.  Thanks, Angel!]

There will be more to come as we experiment more.  Right, Martie?

Right, Jimmie!  You still need to try the ice thing…I’m curious! 

Happy Humpz Day!

Love, Martie X,O,X,O